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CVR of US Air Flight 1549 - the truth about what went on.

 
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Twisted Tails



Joined: 14 May 2008
Posts: 24

 PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 5:20 pm    Post subject: CVR of US Air Flight 1549 - the truth about what went on. Reply with quote Back to top

CVR of US Air Flight 1549 - the truth about what went on.

It seems that nowadays EVERYBODY is a hero. Sully is a hero, the 9/11
firefighters were heroes, every soldier who can spell "Viet Nam" is a
hero.

Society seems to need heroes. Or at least the media seems to want to jam
them down our throats. Seems to me that the term gets diluted every time
someone is called a "hero" for just doing their job...as Sully did.

I can just imagine how the transcript of the CVR is going to read...

Co-pilot: "Number two's gone, boss."

Sully: "I know it! What do I look like, an R-22 pilot? Just shut the
f*cker down, boy. Oh, and tell Departure that we need to come back in
and land. F*cking birds..."

Co-pilot: "Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of his throne this
morning. You don't have to insult me just because I got my commercial
helicopter rating in the mighty Robinson. Oh, and by the way, sir, we're
not climbing, if you even care. Maybe your decision to take on that
extra 5,000 pounds of fuel wasn't so hot, Captain."

Sully: "One more comment like that and I'll make sure the union keeps
you in RJ's for the rest of your miserable, short career."

<BANG!

Sully: "SON OF A BITCH!"

Co-pilot: "Number one's failing, boss."

Sully: "I can see that! Am I a-f*cking-sleep? Can I not read the gauges?
Am I not flying the plane here?"

Co-pilot: "I'm just sayin'..."

Sully: "&%$%$@! Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here every
winter. Why, if I ever *see* another Canadian I'm gonna punch him right
in the throat. I *HATE* Canadians."

Co-pilot: "Everybody does, boss. Think we can make Teterboro or straight-in
to 22 at Newark?"

Sully: "Yeah, probably. But f*ck Teterboro! Let's go to Newark. I've
flown out of Teterboro. Short damn runways...always a crosswind. And
their FBO's suck. I'd rather land in the Hudson f*cking river than land
at Teterboro. Hey...."

Co-pilot: "You're not..."

Sully: "Why not? Maybe we can take out some sailboats with some prick
Canadian snowbirds."

Co-pilot: "You ever land on the water before?"

Sully: "Plenty of times! I got my seaplane rating back in 1946. I think
it was in a...Piper...somethingoranother, I forget. Never mind. It'll
all come back to me. Pull out the Before Water Landing checklist and run
it."

Co-pilot: (flipping through the stack of checklists) "Can't seem to find one
for that."

Sully: "Fooled ya! HAH! There ain't one! Just get on the horn and tell
the people to put their heads between their legs and kiss...no wait,
that won't sound good on on the CVR tape...make it, 'brace for
collision'...no wait, make it 'brace for impact.' Yeah, that's better.
No wait! Tell them that out the left side of the plane they can see the
Intrepid Museum, and that if they'd like to visit it, they'll be able
to, this afternoon, like, in about twenty minutes. Oh, and ring the
stews and have them bring me a rum and coke. If I'm gonna do this, I
need a good stiff drink."

Co-pilot: "You know, if you pull this off CNN will be calling you the Hero
Pilot of the Year."

Sully: "F*ck CNN. Liberal bastards. All I care about is what the
fair-and-balanced Fox News will call me. I hope Fox News calls me a
hero!"

Co-pilot: (sighing) "They probably will too. Nobody will remember *my* name.
It'll be 'Sully this'...and, 'Sully that.' 'Captain Sully, the big
f*cking hero.' Like you are the only f*cking one in the cockpit."

Sully: "You're quite bitter. You really are a helicopter pilot at heart,
aren't you? You know, some pilots wait their whole career to be called a
hero. I mean, sh!t, I've only got two years to go to retirement. That
was close!"

Co-pilot: "We're not down yet, Captain Skygod."

Sully: "I know, this thing glides pretty well, huh? Dammit, no
sailboats. Oh well, let's see if we can buzz one of those damn
sightseeing helicopters. What's best-glide/engines out?"

Co-pilot: "Beats the **** outta me."

Sully: "Vref?"

Co-pilot: "F*ck if I know."

Sully: "Britney Spears' birthday?"

Co-pilot: "December 2, 1981."

Sully: "Well, I'm glad you know SOMETHING! Just gimme full flaps..."

[END OF RECORDING]
 
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Wizofoz
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Joined: 25 Jun 2006
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 PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 5:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

......Seek help.......
 
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AeroRad



Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 165

 PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 2:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

For once I agree with the contributor in the entirety of the original posting.
 
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Leading Edge
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Joined: 14 Feb 2007
Posts: 206
Location: London

 PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 4:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

This was a light-hearted attempt at humour, Aero Rad, but you have attempted to try to turn it against pilots again, in another of your ongoing vendettas.
Why don't you consider checking out of here on a permanent basis, instead of continually torturing your sick mind?
 
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J430
PIREP Master Blaster
PIREP Master Blaster


Joined: 01 Oct 2006
Posts: 1715
Location: Brisbane QLD.

 PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

He is a loser.......plain and simple. But he does help PIREP in a way!

the more he ecourages trouble the more posts and hits and better for advertising stats I guess!

I do notice he went quiet after one of my recent pastings....got caught out fair and square!

J Very Happy
 
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Scurvy.D.Dog
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Joined: 28 Jul 2006
Posts: 446
Location: SFC to A085

 PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Geezus HairoNad ... the calluses must really play havoc with your writing abilities! Rolling Eyes
_________________
'... keep the taps open .. track direct to short final .. number one'
 
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AeroRad



Joined: 03 May 2008
Posts: 165

 PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 3:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

The options the pilots had to choose from were not brain busters, were they.
Land in the Hudson River, or land in downtown New York among the tall buildings.
Thank God he made the brilliant decision he did. Rolling Eyes
 
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